"It Gets Better": Is That the Best We Can Do?

One of my friends posted this today on Facebook. It's part of the "It Gets Better" project - a response to the suicides of Billy Lucas and several other youths who were bullied over their sexual orientation.

I love the positive message in middle of this video, the part that shows a gay couple can parent and be committed to each other, and live a good life. But it comes wrapped in a very strong reminder that school is one of the main places where people experience bullying. Surviving high school and going on to live a good life is important, but we need to do more.

Schools need to change. Violence in schools is not acceptable. Period.

The very first thing a school should be - even before it is a place of learning - is a safe place. I would prefer to have teachers spend all their time teaching kids to be tolerant, respectful people than to teach at the expense of anyone's safety. Tests and curricula can't serve our kids if they go to school every day in fear. They certainly can't bring a child back from the dead.

A message telling kids to just hang on until school is over is a bandaid solution. It's not reasonable to expect that all kids who are bullied can just hang on, nor should they have to. It's certainly not right for a school administrator tell a student to change how he dresses, talks or acts in order to stop the bullying. That's like telling a woman it's her fault she was raped, because she was dressed provocatively.

It's not for kids who are bullied to change. It's for schools to become a place where kids are taught to be tolerant and respectful, and to work out their differences without resorting to violence. It's for teachers to stop a lesson when they hear a student declaring that something or someone is, "so gay," and to give students a better vocabulary to express their opinions.

I know teachers have a tough job, and they need more support instead of more to worry about. But we need to ask ourselves, if schools cannot guarantee a safe environment then why do we send our kids to them? With all the myriad ways to communicate and all the wonderful teaching tools available, why hang onto the current model if it puts kids at risk?

It's time to open ourselves up to diversity and plurality - when it comes to education, and when it comes to issues such as sexual orientation or gender identity.

Photo: theodoranian/Wikimedia Commons, used under a Creative Commons license